I had planned to do a post about outlines and story process this morning, but a most peculiar thing has happened, and I feel it’s an issue I have to address.
Yesterday, someone unfriended me because I didn’t include their blog entry in my Friday ‘Interesting blog posts about writing’ list. I got a message in the morning, asking why I hadn’t chosen their post. Here’s my reply:
Hi [Name removed],
Now I feel bad. Please don't feel like I 'turned it down', it was nothing personal. Your post was interesting, sure, but so were many of the other two thousand or so blog entries I read last week, which aren't included in this week's batch.
My selection process is purely subjective. There's no scientific formula. It has nothing to do with how many comments they generate, or my relationship with that person.
I pick entries that are helpful, or make me stop and think, or promote a worthy idea, like cloudscudding*'s Asweibe market lists, or ones that just make me smile, like bogwitch64*'s 'Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!' (about a partial request) from last year, or your own post about [Description removed] from a few months before that.
It's more than likely that some posts which make the selection one week might not have made it the week before, and vice versa, so again, please don't feel like I've 'judged' you or your post.
Hope that makes sense.
A reasonable response, or so I thought, but when I emerged from the basement a few hours later (where I’d been recording the music for the new Fur-Face trailer), I saw an LJ notification telling me that the person I’d replied to had unfriended me.
I confess I was surprised, especially since this person is someone I’ve always gotten along with, but I double-checked my earlier response and it still seemed perfectly reasonable, so I sent a ‘Sorry you feel that way’ message and moved on…only I haven’t.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel I should have acted/responded differently, and it’s flattering to think that someone actually wants to be included on my list, but I’m concerned there might be other folks who feel upset with me for not adding their posts to my Friday selections.
If there are, and you’re one of those people, please understand that I read about 2,000 blog entries a week. I only pick about a dozen of those, which means I can’t possibly include every good article about writing. That’s no reflection on you as a person or as a blogger. I don’t base my decision on whether I’m on your f-list or how many times (if at all) you comment on my own blog. I just pick the ones that appeal to me at the time I read them.
How about you?
If you were doing a ‘Picks of the week’ list, how would you decide which ones made the cut?
ETA: I don't normally worry about the subject of comments, but in this case, I'd appreciate it if we could all take particular care not to say anything which might cause embarrassment or offence to anyone (especially the person in question). I'm not looking to upset anyone, either by my own comments or through those made by others. I just want to make sure folks understand why they might not make my list, so as to avoid a repeat of this situation.