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Things I don’t understand...



Inspired by jimhines’s ‘I don’t know’ post from earlier this week, I thought I’d do something similar about the things I don’t understand.  As you might imagine, it’s a near-infinite list, so I just picked twenty at random:

I don’t understand how all those typos and erroneous commas find their way into my ‘final drafts’. 

I don’t understand why my barber now charges a search fee.
I don’t understand the rules of American football (or ‘Girly Rugby’ as it’s known in the UK ).

I don’t understand why so many folks choose to see a glass half empty when it’s clearly half full.

I don’t understand why people use the ‘f’ or ‘c’ words.

I don’t understand Japanese (except for Asakapupu, which means ‘dirty diaper’ – just kidding).

I don’t understand why so many New Jersey drivers can’t seem to manage a proper left turn.

I don’t understand why people think something ‘inflammable’ could ever catch fire.

I don’t understand why Americans don’t wear black armbands on July 4th – do they not know their ancestors gave up the chance to be British?

I don’t understand why some people choose to post hateful comments on their blogs.

I don’t understand how to work the DVD remote.

I don’t understand how they made such an awful job of the fourth Indiana Jones movie.

I don’t understand why Moslems, Christians and Jews have such a problem with each other – it’s the same God isn’t it?

I don’t understand why politicians act surprised when they promise one thing then do another, and someone calls them on it. 

I don’t understand why some folks spend more time telling people why they can’t do something than it would take to do the thing they say they haven’t got time to do.

I don’t understand why Fox cancelled Firefly, or why the SyFy channel passed up the chance to take it on – this is the same channel which brings us the Saturday SyFy movie.  

I don’t understand why so many people think Che Guevara was cool. The man was a racist and a mass murderer – at least, if we’re to believe what he wrote in his own diaries.

I don’t understand why my pants shrink during the winter months, but grow larger as summer approaches.

I don’t understand why people think it’s ‘not really stealing’ when they accept or give away free downloads of other people’s music or books.

I don’t understand why the people who invented that hard plastic packaging (the type which requires scissors and several band aids) haven’t been hunted down and given a stern talking to.


How about you?  

What's on your 'Things I don't understand' list?




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Comments

( 53 comments — Leave a comment )
karen_w_newton
Feb. 7th, 2010 04:12 pm (UTC)
I don't understand why editors aren't falling all over themselves to make offers when my agent submits my book.

I don't understand why having a British accent makes everything you say sound wittier and more polite.

On a more serious note, this item on your list:

I don’t understand why Moslems, Christians and Jews have such a problem with each other – it’s the same God isn’t it?

is actually easier to understand once you think of us as a family. Just like siblings Chris, Martha, and Judy each assumed Mom would leave the house to them, the three "Peoples of the Book" have expectations that they're the favored child. Except in this case the house is Jerusalem.

So, what constitutes an "improper" left turn? You're not introduced first? -)
jongibbs
Feb. 7th, 2010 04:50 pm (UTC)
I like your religious analogy. What happens when 'Daddy' gets home though? ;)

As for those left turns, perhaps it's just me, but I always thought you were supposed to slow down (even come to a complete stop if necessary) and make a 90-degree turn at the point where you the road you're on meets the road you want to take, but a lot of NJ folks seem to be under the impression that the turn starts about a hundred feet before that point, and that slowing down for it is to be avoided at all costs :P
(no subject) - karen_w_newton - Feb. 7th, 2010 04:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
jongibbs
Feb. 7th, 2010 04:53 pm (UTC)
Lol, if you were forced to watch Firefly, then whoever was responsible did you a disservice. Nobody likes being made to do something :(

As for those nasty people living longer, I'm sure it just seems that way.
(no subject) - dferguson - Feb. 7th, 2010 05:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jongibbs - Feb. 7th, 2010 05:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
ajjones
Feb. 7th, 2010 04:27 pm (UTC)
(or ‘Girly Rugby’ as it’s known in the UK ).

I don't understand why it's still commonplace to use the female gender as an insult, and why so many people think that's okay. (Not directed at you, just at the world in general, which I gave up on years ago)
jongibbs
Feb. 7th, 2010 04:54 pm (UTC)
Thanks for not shooting the messenger :)

mtlawson
Feb. 7th, 2010 04:33 pm (UTC)
(Man, there goes that REO Speedwagon song again. Curse you Red Baron!)

I don't understand how a CEO can pull down $20 million/year when their employees have their salaries cut.

I don't understand how an MBA can turn a person's mind into mush.

I don't understand how some scientists can make a blanket statement such as -the redhead gene will die out in XXX years- when they clearly aren't taking into account local variations in the gene pool. (You're making the rest of us look bad, gang.)

I don't understand how a squirrel can eat upside down.

I don't understand how people spill things on a clean tablecloth, but if it's dirty they never have an accident.

jongibbs
Feb. 7th, 2010 04:57 pm (UTC)
I'm with you on everything except the tablecloth thing - I can spill food anywhere ;)
southernweirdo
Feb. 7th, 2010 04:36 pm (UTC)
I'm with you on the Che Guevara thing. I saw a few kids wearing shirts with his image all over it at the mall a while back and it puzzled me. Especially since I am sure it is purely capitalistic businesses who create, distribute, and sell those shirts.

I figure kids don't know who or what he was. They just figure he's cool because he had wild hair, a beard, rode a motorcycle, and Rage Against the Machine used his image in their marketing.

Basically, the guy was Castro's hitman. Sure, he started out an idealist with some interesting ideas for the working class and his people, but by the end he was just as corrupt as anyone else entrenched in politics inevitably becomes. Worse than American politicians in some ways. At least American politicians don't seem to enjoy working on firing lines (read his later diaries and letters).

Quote from Mr. Guevera:

"To send men to the firing squad, judicial proof is unnecessary. These procedures are an archaic bourgeois detail. This is a revolution! And a revolutionary must become a cold killing machine motivated by pure hate."

So, no, he's not my idea of a hero, but maybe that's just me.

Good list Jon.
mtlawson
Feb. 7th, 2010 04:53 pm (UTC)
"To send men to the firing squad, judicial proof is unnecessary. These procedures are an archaic bourgeois detail. This is a revolution! And a revolutionary must become a cold killing machine motivated by pure hate."

I think if he looked a bit more like Uncle Joe Stalin -which is more in terms of keeping with this quote- his mug wouldn't be plastered everywhere.
(no subject) - karen_w_newton - Feb. 7th, 2010 04:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jongibbs - Feb. 7th, 2010 05:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - karen_w_newton - Feb. 7th, 2010 05:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mtlawson - Feb. 7th, 2010 07:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - asakiyume - Feb. 7th, 2010 08:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mtlawson - Feb. 8th, 2010 12:10 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - asakiyume - Feb. 8th, 2010 12:14 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mtlawson - Feb. 7th, 2010 07:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - karen_w_newton - Feb. 7th, 2010 07:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jongibbs - Feb. 7th, 2010 04:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jongibbs - Feb. 7th, 2010 04:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - sevenzebras - Feb. 9th, 2010 02:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jongibbs - Feb. 9th, 2010 06:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
wldhrsjen3
Feb. 7th, 2010 05:09 pm (UTC)
I don't understand why my kids fuss when I wake them up at 6:45 for school, but on the weekends they happily bounce out of bed at 6.

I don't understand why my dog turns his nose up at his healthy kibble but he'll eat horse poop with great enthusiasm.

I don't understand how one pile of laundry can reproduce fast enough to fill my laundry room before I can get caught up.

I don't understand a lot of things. ^_^

(And I have to say that this: I don’t understand why Americans don’t wear black armbands on July 4th – do they not know their ancestors gave up the chance to be British? made me laugh out loud. I'll think of it as we enjoy fireworks and rodeo. :D)
jongibbs
Feb. 7th, 2010 05:59 pm (UTC)
My teenage son would sleep in till noon given half a chance.
(no subject) - mtlawson - Feb. 7th, 2010 07:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
reannon
Feb. 7th, 2010 06:36 pm (UTC)
I don't understand why the laundry is never done.

I don't understand why my car alarm stalls my motor when I didn't activate the damn thing in the first place.

I don't understand why people freak out about my female characters cursing like sailors, but not when male characters do it.

I don't understand why my son has nine zillion pairs of socks and can never find any of them.

I don't understand where my ballpoint pens go.

I don't understand the rules of chess.

But...

I do understand why we gave up the chance to be British. It's that whole "driving on the left side of the road" thing. My brain just can't process that. If I ever make it across the pond, it's taxicabs for me, or I'll cause a pileup on London Bridge. :)
jongibbs
Feb. 7th, 2010 07:02 pm (UTC)
Lol, so it's the 'driving' thing :)
(no subject) - snapes_angel - Feb. 8th, 2010 03:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
phoenixfirewolf
Feb. 7th, 2010 06:51 pm (UTC)
"I don’t understand why the people who invented that hard plastic packaging (the type which requires scissors and several band aids) haven’t been hunted down and given a stern talking to. "

LOL - my version of stern talking too would involve fists I think. I had to open one of those the other day... there was blood, but no band aids.

Good list.
jongibbs
Feb. 7th, 2010 07:03 pm (UTC)
You know, 9 times out of ten I get a nasty cut from those bloomin' things :(
(no subject) - phoenixfirewolf - Feb. 7th, 2010 07:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - dferguson - Feb. 7th, 2010 08:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - phoenixfirewolf - Feb. 7th, 2010 09:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
asakiyume
Feb. 7th, 2010 08:36 pm (UTC)
The barber's search fee made me laugh, as did chasing down the inventors of that stiff plastic packaging ... and giving them a stern talking to :-) You're my sort of disciplinarian!
jongibbs
Feb. 8th, 2010 10:23 am (UTC)
It does seem a tad extreme, but I really hate those booby-trapped plastic containers :(
(Deleted comment)
jongibbs
Feb. 8th, 2010 10:25 am (UTC)
Ooh, littering. Good one. I'm often amazed at the amount of litter outside my local McDonalds, where there are garbage bins everywhere.
bogwitch64
Feb. 7th, 2010 10:15 pm (UTC)
I don't understand why the yummy things aren't good for you, and the good-for-you things usually taste like cardboard.

I don't understand why movies like The Tooth Fairy get made when there are children going to bed worse than hungry every night of their lives.

I don't understand why we, the people of LJ, have not yet taken over the world and put it to rights.
jongibbs
Feb. 8th, 2010 10:27 am (UTC)
Re: Taking over the world

We'll have to get in line behind babarnett :P
bodgei
Feb. 8th, 2010 12:53 am (UTC)
I don't understand why people don't get that I don't like racest or gay jokes (I have Native Cousins, Black cousins and a bi sexual aunt) but they are apalled when I tell an Irish Joke (my Dad's Mom was irish)
jongibbs
Feb. 8th, 2010 10:41 am (UTC)
We Brits have made fun of ourselves and each other for hundreds of years. The vast majority of it is good natured rivalry.

Three of my great-grandparents were Irish, and I've never objected to an Irish joke, or an English joke, or a bald joke (though I may cry at the latter).

That said, I think it depends on the intent. If the joke requires a not-too-bright person, I've no problem with a stereotypical Irishman taking that role. The best Irish jokes are told by the Irish - I'm thinking the likes of Frank Carson.

However, if the joke's intended to hurt someone's feelings, or to give the people hearing it a chance to feel superior, then I don't care who the characters are, it's not funny, at least not to me.

(no subject) - bodgei - Feb. 8th, 2010 12:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
snapes_angel
Feb. 8th, 2010 03:29 pm (UTC)
I'll have to ponder that "things I don't understand" list.

Heat expands, cold contracts, if that's any help.

How to work the DVD remote?

1: insert batteries. This is a rather important stage, as any explanation after this point becomes moot without them. Of course, they should be the appropriate size for the DVD remote.

2. Make sure you know which is the "eject" button. That and "rewind". They are your friends, as are the "pause" and "stop" buttons when you must suspend viewing said DVD for any reason.

3. If you have a "menu" button, and / or "record", I then recommend, at your leisure, playing with them at length to figure out how hat works. See, I still use VHZ (and a DVD player, of course).

Wash, rinse, repeat XD (sorry, couldn't resist).
snapes_angel
Feb. 8th, 2010 03:30 pm (UTC)
Sorry. That should be VHS, and not VHZ. Did not see the typo until it posted.
(no subject) - jongibbs - Feb. 8th, 2010 08:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - snapes_angel - Feb. 9th, 2010 06:04 am (UTC) - Expand
snapes_angel
Feb. 8th, 2010 03:38 pm (UTC)
You know, a more accurate term may even be "pablum rugby". Not that I follow sports at all, but... I have actually known some females who were better at a lot of sports then the males. Makes you ponder what made them not turn pro.
jongibbs
Feb. 8th, 2010 08:16 pm (UTC)
Not rugby :P
(no subject) - snapes_angel - Feb. 9th, 2010 06:06 am (UTC) - Expand
writertracy
Feb. 8th, 2010 08:07 pm (UTC)
I don't understand many of the same things. Except for the whole black armband on the fourth thing. That one is pretty clear to me.

I don't understand how Smallville manages to stay on the air and was renewed for a 10th season.

I don't understand why the same people who are against the death penalty are for abortion, and vice versa. (I'm not trying to be political here. I'm genuinely confused.)

I don't understand why people will practice their golf swing in public, with no clubs, in any location, and be thought of as normal. You don't see basketball players miming free throws that way.

I don't understand why I crave chocolate when I'm depressed about my weight.


I also don't understand how everyone says they don't trust the media and yet they take everything they see on the 6 o'clock news as verbatim fact.

I don't understand why the sock monster that lives in the dryer only eats one sock of each pair.

Edited at 2010-02-08 08:12 pm (UTC)
jongibbs
Feb. 8th, 2010 08:15 pm (UTC)
That's a great point about those golf swingers. I wonder how many of them played air guitar in their youth :)
( 53 comments — Leave a comment )

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