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Shyness


The other day, my friend,
[info]silverton, posted an entry about her first week of classes and how her shyness made it difficult to join in with class discussion. 
 
Shyness can have a profound effect on our interactions with others. I think most folks suffer from it to some extent. With that in mind, I thought I’d share my own struggle with this problem, and how I finally managed to overcome it.
 
I remember the day I decided to conquer my shyness. I was in my early twenties, married (not to Senior Management) and a house-owner. I stood at a coach stop for over an hour in the pouring rain, during which time I let coach after coach pull up and leave – many of which I later learned would have taken me to where I wanted to go – all because I was too shy to ask the drivers for information. 
 
The only reason I ever made it to my destination was because of some other strangers who came to that stop. They asked the driver of the next coach and I overheard his answer.
 
Don’t get me wrong.   I could answer a phone or speak to people if they spoke to me first (or in the case of my ten month stint as a pub disc jockey, if I had a microphone to talk to), I just couldn’t initiate a simple conversation with someone I didn’t know.
 
I got so mad at myself that day (not to mention more than a little damp). I decided I'd had enough of being afraid of other people. I didn’t have any plan, but I made myself a promise that I wasn't going to be shy anymore. 
 
I vowed to start a conversation with at least one new person every day – I worked in London back then, so finding a stranger wouldn’t be a problem.
 
I wish I could say things changed overnight, but they didn’t. It took me a week to sum up the courage to say ‘Hi’ to someone new, but I kept at it.  I’m so glad I did. One of the first things I discovered was that if you go halfway to strike up a friendly conversation, most folks will gladly go the other half.
 
In the years since then, I’ve gotten so good at forcing myself to confront my shyness, people actually think I’m confident (sometimes a little too confident). But you know something? I’m fine with that.   
 
I’ve met hundreds, possibly thousands of new people since that wet, windy day at the coach stop, some of whom I’m proud to call my good friends. If I hadn’t got so mad at myself back then, I’d probably still be the shy wallflower in the corner of the room, and where would be the fun in that? 

 
How about you? 

Has shyness had an impact on your life?




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Comments

phoenixfirewolf
Jan. 26th, 2010 02:43 am (UTC)
This isn't my story, but so very closely ties into your shyness post. If you haven't seen it already, check out Jim Hines' post today: http://jimhines.livejournal.com/487702.html

There was a point in time where I was rather shy and honestly I'm not sure how or when I got out of it. If I was in my group, I was fine, but stepping outside of it was hard.

One day I just decided I didn't give a damn what other people thought about me (beyond the social graces). This was about the time I started dancing in the club I hung out at, at the time. I don't know what finally convinced me, and no it wasn't alcohol, cause I don't/didn't drink much, but I'm happy I can dance now :)
jongibbs
Jan. 26th, 2010 01:45 pm (UTC)
You mean that Polish guy and how he met his wife? I love a story with a happy ending, don't you? :)

As for shyness, I think at some point, there comes a realization that, however self-conscious we are about how we might appear to others, for the most part, they don't even know we exist.

It sure takes the pressure off.
phoenixfirewolf
Jan. 26th, 2010 04:39 pm (UTC)
"As for shyness, I think at some point, there comes a realization that, however self-conscious we are about how we might appear to others, for the most part, they don't even know we exist."

LOL, yeah, pretty much :)

And yeah the Polish wedding story was pretty awesome.

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