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If I ruled the world…

If I ruled the world… 

 

#1  All nations would drive on the left side of the road - the way God intended.

 

#2  In the event that #1 proves unachievable, drivers in New Jersey would be required to actually slow down and make a 90 degree turn when taking a left, as opposed to the current popular technique known as ‘Lane drifting’.

 

#3  Anyone wanting to take part in a reality television show would be automatically barred from doing so.

 

#4  Steak and kidney pie would be available in all American food stores.

 

#5  All dictionaries would be updated to change the definition of the word ‘spin’ (as in political spin) to read ‘an attempt to deceive the gullible’.    

 

#6  During interviews, politicians would be wired to a BS detector, designed to trigger an ever-increasing electrical shock if he/she doesn’t answer the question asked, or employs any kind of spin.

 

#7  Anyone who says “I don’t care who they are, if they’re on the [insert name of any political party here] ticket, they get my vote” would be banned from voting.

 

#8  Shopping carts would be fitted with a loudspeaker system which would play the message ‘PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!’ when its user attempts to abandon it in the car lot.

 

#9  Lawyers who bring frivolous law suits would have their case heard by a panel of non-legal types, who would have the power to permanently disbar them if found guilty.

 

#10  People who talk (or text) in theaters would be forced to watch Star Trek: The Motion Picture six times a day for a month.   

 

Oh yes, and world peace would be compulsory, on pain of death

 

How about you?

 

If you ruled the world, what would you change?



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Comments

( 52 comments — Leave a comment )
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bogwitch64
Oct. 24th, 2009 03:07 pm (UTC)
I would BAN steak and kidney pie. New Jerseyites would not be allowed to drive--period.

I don't think there's room enough to put all I'd change!
jongibbs
Oct. 24th, 2009 03:22 pm (UTC)
'...I would BAN steak and kidney pie...'

Okay, that tears it. Your name's on the 'S&K for breakfast every day list' :P
(no subject) - bogwitch64 - Oct. 24th, 2009 03:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jongibbs - Oct. 24th, 2009 04:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bogwitch64 - Oct. 24th, 2009 05:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
jongibbs
Oct. 24th, 2009 03:22 pm (UTC)
Lol :)
(Deleted comment)
jongibbs
Oct. 24th, 2009 03:24 pm (UTC)
Sorry, but one of life's great ironies is how people who drive on the right side of the road, actually aren't :)
a_r_williams
Oct. 24th, 2009 03:43 pm (UTC)
#1 There wouldn't be artificial constructs that divided people ( nationality, race, religion, sex ). Everyone would be considered Earthlings.

#2 It would have the economic system of Star Trek. The world would function on people doing what they loved to do and what they were best capable of doing.

#3 Humans would be "good shepards" of the Earth and its creatures rather than greedy all consuming corporations out to make a buck.

#4 Enviromentaly friendly would be a mindset everyone and everything used.
ajjones
Oct. 24th, 2009 04:44 pm (UTC)
Here here. I'm with THIS guy.
(no subject) - jongibbs - Oct. 24th, 2009 04:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
catephoenix
Oct. 24th, 2009 04:19 pm (UTC)
#8 Shopping carts would be fitted with a loudspeaker system which would play the message ‘PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!’ when its user attempts to abandon it in the car lot.

Fantastic. :D
jongibbs
Oct. 24th, 2009 04:52 pm (UTC)
I was going to suggest they were somehow rigged to attack their abandoner's car, but I thought that might be a tad extreme :)
wordsrmylife
Oct. 24th, 2009 04:32 pm (UTC)
It's not the steak so much as it is the kidneys. I like liver (preferably with onions), but kidneys' texture is not my fave.

As for the driving thing--I don't care which side of the road, but I'd really like to see one side or the other be universal.
jongibbs
Oct. 24th, 2009 04:50 pm (UTC)
I was just thinking about liver and onions :)
karen_w_newton
Oct. 24th, 2009 04:42 pm (UTC)
#1 is unacceptable. According to Wikipedia, we've got you 163 to 76 in terms of countries and territories, and if you use land mass, it's an overwhelming majority for right hand drive. Check out the map in this Wikipedia entry. Not a lot of blue.

Codicil to #8-- shopping carts would also scream, "Help, help, this thief is stealing me!" as soon as they are pushed beyond the boundaries of the parking lot. I can't believe how many people think they're entitled to push the shopping cart all the way home to their apartment building.

#11-- Members of the US Congress should be stripped of their health coverage and have to rely on whatever remedy is available to folks who don't get coverage at work.

jongibbs
Oct. 24th, 2009 04:50 pm (UTC)
I have to say your argument against #1 is based on flawed logic. You've neglected to allow for the "But we're British, so that counts as at least 100 countries" factor :P

Edited at 2009-10-24 04:53 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - karen_w_newton - Oct. 24th, 2009 05:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
jongibbs
Oct. 24th, 2009 09:37 pm (UTC)
:P
karistan
Oct. 24th, 2009 05:33 pm (UTC)
Regarding #1, I don't think it's actually the side of the road, it's the civility of the drivers. Neal and I have actually wished we were BACK in the UK driving because Brits, in general, seemed to care more about other drivers than themselves. Even the roundabouts, once we figured them out, seemed to be much more civilized. There's none of that here.
jongibbs
Oct. 24th, 2009 09:37 pm (UTC)
I miss roundabouts :(
(no subject) - temporus - Oct. 25th, 2009 06:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jongibbs - Oct. 25th, 2009 09:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - temporus - Oct. 25th, 2009 10:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
jongibbs
Oct. 24th, 2009 09:38 pm (UTC)
'...PS. You drive on the wrong side of the road...'

More often than I care to admit ;)
(Anonymous)
Oct. 24th, 2009 06:23 pm (UTC)
I believe God intended for all people of sane mind to drive on the right side of the road. However, you have my full support on the rest of your items, especially #'s six and seven.
jongibbs
Oct. 24th, 2009 09:40 pm (UTC)
I believe in the original version of the bible, Moses had three tablets. One of the commandments on the stone he dropped was "Thou shalt drive thy chariot on the left side'.

Of course, I can't confirm this ;)
silverton
Oct. 24th, 2009 09:18 pm (UTC)
You have my vote! I'm a little concerned about the steak and kidney pie but Im willing to give it a go... Unfortunately I don't see us americans giving up the very things that set us apart from the rest of the world. Driving on the left hand side... ha! Next you'll be asking us to convert to the metric system....
jongibbs
Oct. 24th, 2009 09:41 pm (UTC)
Metric? No chance of that. Real Brits like their meters in yards and our kilos in pounds and ounces :)
eneit
Oct. 24th, 2009 10:06 pm (UTC)
I think all governments should be forced to adopt the model Eddings created (cant remember book title at the moment - it's early, haven't had coffee yet)where all those who govern have to hand all their assests to the Treasury. If they govern well, at the end of their term they get their assessts back and make a profit.

It would be somewhat more of an incentive to govern well.
jongibbs
Oct. 24th, 2009 10:17 pm (UTC)
Yeah, but it would be more fun to give them electric shocks? :)
(no subject) - eneit - Oct. 24th, 2009 10:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jongibbs - Oct. 24th, 2009 10:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
kmarkhoover
Oct. 24th, 2009 11:08 pm (UTC)
Pie for everybody!
musingaloud
Oct. 25th, 2009 01:38 am (UTC)
Yummmmmmmm. I hope mine is banana cream?
(no subject) - jongibbs - Oct. 25th, 2009 10:10 am (UTC) - Expand
musingaloud
Oct. 25th, 2009 01:38 am (UTC)
People who hog the exercise machines in the gym while they chat and visit would be forced to stand and wait for said machine for a minimum of 3 days.
jongibbs
Oct. 25th, 2009 10:12 am (UTC)
Lol, you're a tough ruler :)
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( 52 comments — Leave a comment )

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