The Critiquee’s Charter
1. As the person submitting my work for critique, I understand that people have taken time away from doing other things to provide me with feedback, something which will undoubtedly help me more than it will them. Though I may feel upset by their comments, and may not agree with their observations, or decide not to implement the changes they recommend, I will keep that to myself. I will remember that I am grateful, and take the time to thank them for their input.
2. I recognize that not everyone has the same critique style. Therefore, unless we’ve agreed on a specific method beforehand, I will accept feedback in whatever form the critiquer cares to provide it.
3. I want people’s honest opinions. If they give them in a way that upsets me, I will recognize that one person’s ‘rude git’ is another person’s ‘straight-talker’, and re-read item #1 until I feel better.
4. If all I want is applause and a pat on the back for a job well done, I will not waste my critiquers’ time asking for feedback. If I do, I understand that it serves me jolly well right if I don’t get the glowing praise I expected. 
5. If I think the critiquer just didn’t ‘get it’, I will re-read #1 until the urge to say so has passed.
6. If I think the critiquer doesn’t know what he/she is talking about, I will re-read #1 until the urge to say so has passed.
7. If I want to disagree with a critique, I will re-read #1 until the urge to do so has passed.
8. If several people make similar observations, I will at least consider the possibility that, despite my undoubted genius, I may have missed something important.
9. If someone gives me a harsh critique, I promise to remember that I am (in years at least) a grown-up, and will resist any temptation to ‘repay’ them when I review their work. 
10. I understand that some people actually set out to critique in a spiteful, hurtful, manner. They like to show off at the expense of others, and have little or no interest in helping anyone improve their work. On those rare occasions when I come across such a person, I will remind myself that idiots like this are the exception rather than the rule. I will learn to recognize and ignore him/her, and remember that (as a certain old gran used to say), ‘It’s better to be upset by people like that, than to be people like that.’ 
11. At all times, I will try to remember that critiques are just opinions, which, like spouses and children can be embraced or ignored however one sees fit.
12. ____________________________________
I left #12 blank. What would you put in there?
Related posts:
What do you look for in a writing group?
What would put you off from joining/staying with a writing group
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jongibbs- Jon Gibbs
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No longer in print but there are still some copies floating around out there
No longer in print but there are still some copies floating around out there
THE MEAGER PUDDLE OF LIMELIGHT AWARDS
No longer in print but there are still some copies floating around out there
THE MEAGER PUDDLE OF LIMELIGHT AWARDS
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Comments
Will ponder on #12.....
I ran a workshop at a local convention for four years. In all that time, I had one nasty, disgruntled participant. Everyone else, even though most were new writers and new to being critiqued, was extremely gracious.
This year was the first I didn't run the workshop. The coordinator reported that she had one disgruntled participant. I'd love to know if it's the same person, who decided to try again now that I wasn't running the show. But I don't think it would be appropriate to ask the coordinator who her disgruntled participant was. ;-)
You're stronger willed than me. I'd have asked right away.
So is being one-up on the 'Always wanted to write a book' crowd ;)
Edited at 2009-07-22 05:07 pm (UTC)
My friend, Cherry Weiner (not someone you'd ever describe as a shrinking violet), says, 'Unless you plan on going around to explain things to everyone who buys your book, you better make it clear in the ms.'
12. I will leave all weapons at home before setting out for my critique group.
12. Treat others as you would like to be treated?
Worst reaction I ever got to a crit? After crittering the first longwinded chapter of a historical romance for someone who specifically asked ME for a crit, (and was one of those people who just wanted me to tell her how great she was) I was told, "You're not a real writer anyway. You're just someone who writes."
Worst crit I ever got? Honestly--the one I remember most is the woman who could find nothing to correct in my story who instead told me, "The name of you POV character is terrible. It totally ruins the story."
Um...yeah.
(But I'm lucky, I belong to an excellent critique group.)
I liked the other point you made in your post about why published authors would agree to do critiques. Especially since so many people have thinner skin than they imagine. Still, for those of us who are prepared to accept criticism, I'm glad they do.
Heh, instead of a prayer at the start, should we all recite # 1?
I hope she gives you kind comments and good advice :)