October 24th, 2009

If I ruled the world…

If I ruled the world… 

 

#1  All nations would drive on the left side of the road - the way God intended.

 

#2  In the event that #1 proves unachievable, drivers in New Jersey would be required to actually slow down and make a 90 degree turn when taking a left, as opposed to the current popular technique known as ‘Lane drifting’.

 

#3  Anyone wanting to take part in a reality television show would be automatically barred from doing so.

 

#4  Steak and kidney pie would be available in all American food stores.

 

#5  All dictionaries would be updated to change the definition of the word ‘spin’ (as in political spin) to read ‘an attempt to deceive the gullible’.    

 

#6  During interviews, politicians would be wired to a BS detector, designed to trigger an ever-increasing electrical shock if he/she doesn’t answer the question asked, or employs any kind of spin.

 

#7  Anyone who says “I don’t care who they are, if they’re on the [insert name of any political party here] ticket, they get my vote” would be banned from voting.

 

#8  Shopping carts would be fitted with a loudspeaker system which would play the message ‘PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!’ when its user attempts to abandon it in the car lot.

 

#9  Lawyers who bring frivolous law suits would have their case heard by a panel of non-legal types, who would have the power to permanently disbar them if found guilty.

 

#10  People who talk (or text) in theaters would be forced to watch Star Trek: The Motion Picture six times a day for a month.   

 

Oh yes, and world peace would be compulsory, on pain of death

 

How about you?

 

If you ruled the world, what would you change?

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