THOSE STINKING WORDS!!! by Sean Hayden
Everybody knows them. They teach them to us as wee lads and lasses in elementary schools. They even give them fancy names like homophones. Let me tell you one thing, as an editor, they are the very bane of our existence! Whoever invented the English language should be drawn, quartered, ground into paste, and spread over a Ritz friggin cracker.
You know those words. The complex ones are easy! Nobody ever gets those words wrong. I’m talking the stupid simple everyday words used a million times in conversation. Sometimes you catch them when you’re editing, sometimes you don’t. It’s the ones you don’t that make you blush and beat your head against the desk like you were trying to put out a fire with your forehead.
Visit my website for a sneak peak at my upcoming novel!
(No, nobody was trying to hide the face of a mountain)
It’s a pleasure to meat you!
(Yes, I would like to smack you with a 26oz T-bone)
You have the right to be judged by a group of your piers.
(Only the piers? The docks don’t get a vote? That’s not fair)
The majestic eagle prays on the hapless field mouse
(Does that make it an altar mouse?)
I fixed the fender of my car using an ark welder.
(Jeez, I bet Moses wished he had one of those!)
I slowly cranked the real of the fishing rod, fighting the bass with every crank.
(Reel cool if you ask me)
I’m sure you get the gist of this post. Going through someone’s manuscript looking for misspelled words, missing words, plot holes, repetitive actions, and every possible other thing that could be wrong is difficult enough. Throw in words that are spelled correctly and that sound exactly the same are just recipes for disaster.
So next time you get that round of edits back from your editor and you see all of the strikethroughs, notes, and suggestions, cut them some slack. They’re only trying to help. Then, when everything is complete and you get an Advance Reader Copy (or ark, I mean arc) and you send it out for reviews and then get it back with fifteen different people pointing out tiny little mistakes, remember this post. I’ll let you in on a little secret: Editors are people too. They’re not blood sucking, soul feeding monstrosities hell bent on causing irrevocable mental anguish on the authors they are assigned to work with. That’s just a rumor.
Born in the suburbs of Chicago, Sean Hayden moved to the frigid arctic climes of south east Florida as a small child. The son of a fireman and a proofreader (that’s what they had before spellcheck) he fell in love with reading at a young age. When he hit the age of 35 he wrote his first novel, an urban fantasy about vampires and demons entitled Origins.
Ashlyn Thorn was born different. She was born with all the characteristics of a vampire, but in a world where vampires, elves, and werewolves work, play, and die side by side with normal humans, everyone knows vampires aren’t born, they’re made. The only thing she ever wanted is to know her true Origins. Ashlyn’s tale takes her on a quest to find out what makes her different and to find out the truth, but with every question she gets answered, she uncovers more uncertainties. To make things worse she makes enemies of the most powerful vampires of the city who consider her powers to dangerous to let go unchecked. She is saved by the government only to be trained and used to serve their purposes, and Ashlyn finds herself torn between two worlds. She can either be a monster, or help fight the monsters.
Unsatisfied with one novel, Sean penned the second book in the Demonkin series, Deceptions, coming soon from Echelon Press.