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It's a tradition in England to open Christmas crackers at dinner. They usually contain a paper hat, a cheap toy and best of all, a really awful joke.

 

I thought it might be fun to come up with a few awful jokes of my own, so here we go:

What does Scrooge have in common with a desert lion?  
They both hate sandy claws!

What type of dinosaur has four legs and flies? 
A recently deceased one!

How do you stop a bull elephant from charging? 
Hide his credit cards!


 

I hope you were holding on to your sides.

If you think you can come up with something better (or should I say 'worse'), give me your best shot.




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Comments

( 22 comments — Leave a comment )
msstacy13
Dec. 25th, 2010 07:54 pm (UTC)
My favourite along these lines
is the Mad Magazine ad which suggested that if you were
haunted by the ghost of Christmas Presents,
you could give a gift subscription.
It included a gift card,
so the recipient would know who the dickens to blame.
jongibbs
Dec. 25th, 2010 08:57 pm (UTC)
Lol :)
birdhousefrog
Dec. 25th, 2010 09:06 pm (UTC)
The jokes brought forth groans here! Happy Christmas to you and your family!

Oz
jongibbs
Dec. 25th, 2010 10:10 pm (UTC)
The jokes brought forth groans here

In that case, mission accomplished.

Merry Christmas, Oz :)
eneit
Dec. 25th, 2010 09:21 pm (UTC)
What do you call a crate of ducks?
A box of quackers
jongibbs
Dec. 25th, 2010 10:10 pm (UTC)
Excellent! :)
peadarog
Dec. 25th, 2010 10:16 pm (UTC)
My friend married a woman with two heads.
"Is she good-looking?" I asked.
"Well, yes and no."
jongibbs
Dec. 26th, 2010 12:11 pm (UTC)
Good one :)
sallymn
Dec. 25th, 2010 10:24 pm (UTC)
{groan}

{giggle}

Thanks :) Have a good one...
jongibbs
Dec. 26th, 2010 12:11 pm (UTC)
You too, Sally :)
bogwitch64
Dec. 26th, 2010 03:19 am (UTC)
I would share with you the jokes my 103 year old aunt Mary told today at the dinner table, but I understand this is a G-rated blog so...

jongibbs
Dec. 26th, 2010 12:10 pm (UTC)
Did she tell the one about the vicar and the pineapple? ;)
bogwitch64
Dec. 26th, 2010 02:08 pm (UTC)
No. But she did tell one about a man walking into a ladies room, and a bluebird nightgown given as a wedding gift. ;)

she's a pip
jakobdrud
Dec. 26th, 2010 10:46 am (UTC)
I'd send you one, but puns translate so poorly (viz. "What's the difference between a lion and a giraffe? A giraffe can run but a lion can't giraffe...")

Guess I'll stick with 'Merry Christmas"!
jongibbs
Dec. 26th, 2010 12:11 pm (UTC)
And a Merry Christmas to you too, Jakob :)
msstacy13
Dec. 26th, 2010 02:13 pm (UTC)
Okay, got one.

When is Muhamed Ali's favourite time to visit England?

On Boxing Day.
:)
jongibbs
Dec. 26th, 2010 03:22 pm (UTC)
Good one :)
snapes_angel
Dec. 26th, 2010 02:31 pm (UTC)
Christmas quackers are just ducky, too.
jongibbs
Dec. 26th, 2010 03:22 pm (UTC)
:)
(Deleted comment)
jongibbs
Dec. 27th, 2010 07:20 pm (UTC)
Lol :)
phoenixfirewolf
Dec. 27th, 2010 07:19 pm (UTC)
LMAO
jongibbs
Dec. 27th, 2010 07:20 pm (UTC)
:)
( 22 comments — Leave a comment )

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