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A banned joke and this weekend's PhilCon

I love knock-knock jokes, so I made up one to start off my blogging presentation for the Greater Lehigh Valley Writing Group next weekend.  I tried it out on Senior Management, who promptly forbade me to use it, so I thought I'd post it here instead (CAUTION: You should probably hold onto your sides before reading any further).

"Knock, knock!"

"Who's there?"


"Ira who?"

"Ira writer, what do you do?"

Moving on:

PHILCON - Cherry Hill, NJ Nov 19th-21st
I'm excited about attending 
Philcon this weekend.

I signed up for a two-hour first chapter workshop on Saturday afternoon (sent in the opening of Waking up Jack Thunder). Unless they tear it apart completely, I plan to pitch the novel to an agent later this month.

I'd like to go to a couple of panels, though I've not decided which ones yet. Most of the weekend I'll be at the GSHW table in the dealer's room, signing copies of the Fur-Face eBook-on-a-CD and I are a writer! mugs.
If you're going, I hope to see you there.

If you've gotten over the shock of my 'Ira writer' joke, and you think you have a better one, I'd love to hear it.

Site Meter


( 33 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 17th, 2010 04:44 pm (UTC)
Knock, Knock.

Who's there?


Hamlet who?

Hamlet...Piglet's father.
Nov. 17th, 2010 04:48 pm (UTC)
Hahahahahaha :)

Nov. 17th, 2010 04:55 pm (UTC)
what do you get when you cross a mafioso with a deconstructionist?

someone who makes you an offer you can't understand!
Nov. 17th, 2010 04:57 pm (UTC)
Lol :)
Nov. 17th, 2010 05:44 pm (UTC)
Oh...Jon...you should have listened to Senior Management and kept that one to yourself. ;)

Have a GREAT time at PhilCon (that strangely now takes place in NJ. First the Giants and Jets, now Philcon. Yeesh!)

Nov. 17th, 2010 05:51 pm (UTC)
You didn't like that? :)
(no subject) - bogwitch64 - Nov. 17th, 2010 05:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jongibbs - Nov. 17th, 2010 06:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
Nov. 17th, 2010 06:12 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, I love your joke... It made me giggle.

Have fun a the con!
Nov. 17th, 2010 07:26 pm (UTC)
Thanks Julie, will do :)
Nov. 17th, 2010 06:15 pm (UTC)
That's a groaner, that one.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ham who?
Ham so glad you shared that knock-knock.

--feeble, I know, but I'm short on sleep.
Nov. 17th, 2010 07:27 pm (UTC)
Hehehehehe :)
Nov. 17th, 2010 06:41 pm (UTC)
LOL good one :)

a buddhist monk walks into a pizza shop and says, make me one with everything

(Mu husband told me that one the other night and I immediately had to add it to the novel because the ghost of the protag's grandfather likes to tell bad jokes)

Sadly, I will be missing Philcon due to family obligations. Have a good time!
Nov. 17th, 2010 07:27 pm (UTC)
Lol, that's for the joke, not the missing PhilCon thing :)
(no subject) - msstacy13 - Nov. 18th, 2010 12:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jongibbs - Nov. 18th, 2010 03:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
Nov. 17th, 2010 07:59 pm (UTC)
Hardy har har... :D

Here's one for you (you didn't realize this was going to turn into the bad jokes collection, did you? lol)

Why do ducks have flat feet?
To stamp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
wait for it...
To stamp out flaming ducks!
Nov. 17th, 2010 08:28 pm (UTC)
Oh dear :)
(no subject) - ladysaotome - Nov. 17th, 2010 08:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - paulwoodlin - Nov. 17th, 2010 10:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jongibbs - Nov. 17th, 2010 10:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - msstacy13 - Nov. 18th, 2010 12:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
Nov. 17th, 2010 09:56 pm (UTC)
My family, all grown up now, used to be big on elephant jokes. Occasionally they still like to remind me of an old one that always made us laugh: "Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So they can hide in cherry trees. Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No? It really works, doesn't it?" They thought it was hilarious but at age eight, all jokes were hilarious.

Enjoy PhilCon.
Nov. 17th, 2010 10:13 pm (UTC)
I remember that one :)
(no subject) - msstacy13 - Nov. 18th, 2010 12:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
Nov. 17th, 2010 10:30 pm (UTC)

Q: What animal needs to be oiled?
A: Mice, because they squeak.

Have a great time at Philcon! Best of luck with the workshop :):)
Nov. 17th, 2010 10:53 pm (UTC)
Lol, I like that one :)
Nov. 17th, 2010 11:37 pm (UTC)
have fun! unfortunately, i SUCK at teling jokes. i am great at self-deprecating humor or embarrassing myself however. :)
Nov. 18th, 2010 12:26 am (UTC)
Will do :)
Nov. 18th, 2010 08:19 am (UTC)
because the elephant one reminded me of serial jokes ...
Q What's red and looks like a bucket?
A A red bucket.
Q What's blue and looks like a bucket?
A The red bucket in disguise.
Q What's yellow and looks like a banana?
A the red bucket in it's best disguise yet.

Q. what's yellow and dangerous?
A Shark infested custard
Q How did Bananaman die?
A Shark attack while eating custard.

and the lamest joke of all:
A man walks into a bar and says "Ow."

Shall I stop now?
Nov. 18th, 2010 10:11 am (UTC)
Re: because the elephant one reminded me of serial jokes ...
Lol, I have fond memories of that shark infested custard joke.

Excellent :)
( 33 comments — Leave a comment )

Things What I Wrote and Other Stuff

No longer in print but there are still some copies floating around out there

No longer in print but there are still some copies floating around out there



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